He knew

Ten months ago Nate and I embarked on an adventure we hadn't planned. Well that's not completely true, we just thought we had 5 & 1/2 more weeks to get ready.

I am not sure if the trauma of the situation made me 'shelve' my feelings or if the constant chaos of every day life hasn't allowed me to reflect on the happenings of October 16, 2008 (Russ's birthday). However, Saturday August 15, 2009 the flood gates opened... and emotions flowed.

A couple of weeks ago we received an invitation to the 25th Anniversary of the Annual NICU Reunion for all the families and little ones that spent time with the wonderful caregivers at the Women's Hospital NICU in Greensboro, NC.

You can imagine my excitement to get to be a part of such a wonderful event. The thought of seeing the nurses and doctors who had cared for Russ so lovingly overwhelmed me. These caretakers had not only kept a 24/7 watch over our son, but kept watch over both Nate and I as we re-learned how to be parents of an infant who was tiny and completely reliant on us.

So Saturday afternoon, after we all rested from the night before (Annabelle's birthday sleepover), we packed up the car and headed to the reunion. There was so much for everyone to do- face painting, bubbles, pony rides, train rides, music and food. However, I was on a mission... I needed to see and hug those who took such good care of us. The first nurse I found was Cathy, she was intrumental in our 'sleep over' and checked us out that awesome Saturday when we went home. I informed her that I was looking for: Miss Susan, Miss June and Dr. D. She informed that June was coming to the party, Dr. D wasn't in town, but Miss Susan (who gave Russ the nickname of "Mighty Russ") was up stairs in the NICU working and that I should go and asked to speak to her.

So off we went, through the halls that I walked for 10 days. My heart started to beat faster, the tears started to gather and before you know it we were outside of the NICU and Annabelle was ringing the doorbell. For a quick second I thought to myself "I can't do this. It's just too much", but then the doors opened and there stood Dr. Wimmer. My heart jumped. This was the man that took Russ to the NICU after he was delivered and gave us the good news that he was OK and doing well. So we hugged and he checked out Russ...who he called 'one of my graduates'! I told him I was looking for Miss Susan and he told me he would go and get her.

For five minutes... five VERY long minutes I waited. Again, heart started beating fast, tears started for form... I hadn't been in this place for 10 months... and it started to feel like I wasn't going to be able to handle this reunion.

Then there she was with a HUGE smile on her face... she looked at me and then looked at Russ and said "There is my Mighty Russ". She remembered us, even in our short time being there, she remembered. At that moment, I couldn't breath, my heart swelled until I thought it was going to come out of my chest and I burst into tears. Here before me was the woman that seem to make everything better during a time of unknowing in our lives. She looked at me and said "If I knew this was going to happen I wouldn't have come!" and then laughed and hugged me so tight.

At that very moment all of the emotions that I had put on the shelf were out for the world to see.

Miss Susan and I chatted briefly, as she had her babies to tend to, and I had Annabelle begging to go back outside to participate in the fun.

As she bent down to talk to Russ, they looked into eachother's eyes and it was like two old friends. Funny as it may sound, he knew who she was. He gave her the biggest grin, reached out and touched her cheek.

He knew.